Fandom | Pairing: Fate/Stay Night | ShirouSaber
Notes: Written for iu_fanfiction 's 34th Challenge | Prompt: Long Distance Call
Summary: It's because Emiya Shirou wanted to hear even the barest of her breath.
"I dialed your number..."
A few rays of moonlight pierced the floor after Shirou opened the door to his basement.
He walked in, sat down, and smoothed a certain part of the floor in a curved manner with his left hand. A smile—the kind of a pained smile that he tried not to show to anyone even to Tohsaka—stretched his lips as he adorned the floor.
Moonlight shone on the floor that he was adorning. Shirou lifted his hand, fixed his eyes on the back of his palm, and sighed. He put it back to the floor, and murmured the only incantation that he knew.
The blue handle of the sword just appeared exactly on his palm, with the tip of the golden blade pointing outside. It was another imitation of her golden sword, only that it wouldn't be held by her own hands anymore.
He said days after she disappeared that probably he'll forget her face, her voice, and some of their memories, but he wouldn't ever forget that he loved her.
Just for that sole reason, he couldn't even forget how she spoke in a respectful manner with her voice that bore assurance in every sentence that her lips had said. He couldn't even let go of the way on how her face flushed, and those three words... those last three words that she told him before she disappeared.
Shirou knew that memories wouldn't be enough.
He wanted to see her. And hear her voice.
No, not just that. He wanted to hug her, and make her stay by his side.
But he knew it would be selfish, and he thought that probably hearing even the barest of her breath might be just okay even if it would make him want for more.
One of his desperate acts were to make a similar pentacle to summon her. But, wouldn't it call her as a Servant, instead? And they might go in the same cycle of being Master-Servant again.
He didn't want that.
He lied down on the floor with a groan as the imitation of her sword vanished in thin, powdered light.
“Saber...” he murmured while his eyes went to the pentacle. He thought that maybe, if her Scabbard, Avalon, was still in him, then probably even that kind of thin connection might get her to his side. But it's now back in her hands, and he didn't have anything to make her materialize in front of him. All he could do, as Archer told him, was to create. But he didn't want an illusion of Saber. He wanted her real. And tell her once more the same three words that she told him at that day.
So, he closed his eyes and hoped that somehow, he'd have a dream of her and hear her voice even for three good seconds. Or maybe, sometime longer than that.
If dreams could be reality.
"Do you hear me calling out to you?"
If dreams could be reality.
Arturia closed her eyes—she knew that her slumber would be for long. If she could at least dream a happy dream back to the days where she was still the young, innocent girl that she used to be; if she could have even at least a scenario in her head where the country had a different king; if she could have acquired the Holy Grail to undo the selection of kings and... ah, no. If she could have wished for the Holy Grail to stay with him, then it's okay for her to sleep for long. It's okay to be selfish since it's just in a dream, right?
Dreams... wouldn't be the reality, anyway.
She has thrown away her humanity, even her sword.
And she couldn't even stay with him.
But at least, she was able to tell him how she felt. Those three words before she disappeared in the sunlight that blinded him...
He didn't regard her as just a Servant. He regarded her as a human, as a friend, and as his most important person in his life. The way on how he'd tell her that she's a girl and he's a guy and he needed to protect her just because he's the guy... and how convicted he sounded... it somehow felt nostalgic.
If she could just see even the creases on his forehead whenever she was stubborn towards him, or if she could just listen to his voice, then again, it's fine for her to dream eternally while she sleeps.
Was it a smile drawing on her lips as she called his name? Probably. Shirou really treasured her a lot, and she knew it. And her feelings for him are the same.
She knew that dreams couldn't simply hold her feelings. It wouldn't be enough.
Again, it wouldn't be bad to be selfish in her dream, right?
She wanted to see him. To hold him. To hear his voice and to be with him. Even in this dream.
If she could just dream about the time when she appeared behind Shirou from that pentacle. Or, if she could just materialize again and stay there... and from that state, start things over. With Shirou. Even if it's just in the dream in her slumber.
"How I wish you do..."
Shirou's eyes cracked open, slowly, and it met... the blue moonlight?
No. It was...
"Do you hear me?"
One of her dreams came true.
There he was, lying on the floor.
She bent down and...
"Yes, I do."
He captured her in his arms.
"I hear you, too."
And she comfortably tucked her chin on his shoulder.
"Can you stay on the line?"
He wanted to ask how it happened, but he just couldn't. He didn't care. Having her in his arms was more important. But...
She didn't want to depend on this dream.
"I knew you can't."
"...yes, I can't."
But it's fine for her. It's the only thing that connected the two of them.
“Arturia. Arturia Pendragon.” And she held his shoulders and pulled away with a calm smile.
"...but I will."
“Arturia.” He smiled, and the next second he found himself drowning in her turquoise eyes. “I haven't told you in a really good circumstance, haven't I?”
Arturia had her eyes fixed on him, and asked, “What is it, Shirou?”
"I'll keep on calling if the line gets cut."
“I love you, Arturia Pendragon.”
"...I knew you'd say that."
There's the redness in her face and the thrumming in her chest, but she stayed calm and said, “I love you too, Emiya Shirou.”
He woke up the next morning and knew it was a dream.
If dreams could be reality.
But he knew something.
That even if dreams couldn't come true, at least, he was able to see her, hear her voice, and have her in his arms, even if she couldn't stay for long.
"I won't stop calling."
And she felt the same, too, before the complete darkness dawned on her.